I remember experiencing the world much more vividly when I was a little boy.
I would step outside on an autumn evening and feel joy as the cool breeze rustled the leaves and caressed my skin. In the summers, I would listen to the orchestra of insects buzzing around me. I would waddle out of the cold swimming pool and the most wonderful shiver would cascade out of me as I peed in the bathroom. In the winters, I would get mesmerized by the simple sound of my boots crunching the snow under me.
These were not experiences that I actively sought out. They just happened. I did not need to stop to smell the figurative roses, the roses themselves would stop me in my tracks.
As I got older, I started feeling less and less and thinking more and more.
I’ve tried meditation, recreation, vacation, resignation, and medication. Some of these things have helped but I am still left wondering… is this a side effect of getting older? Or is there something wrong with me?
Definitely agree. To your point on new things, I still feel that sense of awe and wonder when I go on trips to places I’ve never been, hear an awesome song for the first time, or even learn something new. It takes a certain level of motivation to feel those senses as you age (mid 30s here), and determination to seek those things out. I know I am lucky in that I’m at a stage in life where I have the resources to make some of these happen, but a lot of it is also forcing the free time to both seek out experiences and also be able to appreciate them.