When I was 12-13, I had a period of time where I absolutely could not cut through a pepperoni. What I did was to move the slices around before baking, however. This is the work of a sick mind.

Yikes. I was going to make a joke about my face not looking too thrilled to have the bends, but after finding a detailed description of what actually happens to you I’m just gonna shut up and cry a little bit.