Why would he bother to waste time rubbing together his two remaining neurons for this? Chaos and cronies is all he needs to feed his ego.

I mean that I have a cabinet full of popcorn kernels at home

We should pop more often

You’re way underestimating the BOM and engineering costs, and also eating directly into the shareholder value, communist.

Where’s my air popper gang at

The “beverage” one is a trap. It absolutely ruined my Pepsi.

Because that takes infinitely more resources than not doing it.

Or even better, use ImageMagick.

Finally some good news

Too bad the people we need to reach are literally incapable of understanding satire

In true American fashion, we “invented” something that already existed in a land we “discovered” while it was already inhabited.

Tin cans and string

Mine somehow got linked to my work MacBook, and it won’t even let me use my phone to authenticate. They really love that ecosystem lock-in.

America is so innovative that it invented the self-hating woman.

No

Stop trying to make “kagis” happen

It’s not going to happen

Well, she has the audacity of being a woman raising a child to be independent, so they had to jail her.

Kentucky Yeeted Chicken

Related fun fact: emoji is the plural, and the singular is emojus!

Hey, you stole my joke from last month

That’s a fraction of my mortgage …