The time taken for “a” typing monkey? We have infinite monkeys! Why are we putting the entire burden on just one of them? One of them takes Hamlet, another takes King Lear, two of them collaborate to write Twelfth Night…

To quote the theme song of a science show on BBC radio:

If infinite monkeys type every day
They may accidentally write ‘Hamlet’ the play
But they’ll probably shit on it and throw it away
In the Infinite Monkey Cage

I’m sure if Putin asked nicely enough…

The spookiest of bees.

Yeah, he definitely looks like someone trying to splinter the left to weaken support, then adding “I’m voting Harris” and “Free Palestine” in the way some republicans say “as a black man…”

Please respond to what people say and not what they could have said. Don’t respond to phantoms who aren’t in the room.

You don’t need to think someone is perfect to think someone else is worse. There are lots of people so disillusioned by the left that they don’t vote at all, thus allowing the right to come into power, and they need a wake-up call that, yes, things can get worse.

You are protesting genocide in a pro-Palestinian forum, directed as people who are also pro-Palestine, responding to someone saying “let’s not make Palestine worse.” You’re not a nazi (and I never said you were), you’re just useless.

Cool. It’s not happening here. You’re having this conversation non-stop because you keep forcing this conversation when nobody’s even talking. Why does the statement “Trump is bad” have to be followed by “Biden is also bad”? Those are two different conversations.

Will voting Harris fix the problem? Probably not. Will not voting Harris make things worse? Yes. Do you want things to be worse, or do you want to vote Harris? Just because she’s imperfect doesn’t change that.

It’s a shitty thing to strawman someone to condemn them for things they haven’t said. Telling someone not to do a shit thing is not a shit thing.

I am pro-Palestine, anti-Trump, and I think American politics is too right-wing overall. I just don’t think “Biden is causing a genocide” is a good response to “Trump would actively make things worse.”

Once again, what the fuck conversation are you responding to? If you don’t disagree with what they said, that Trump is worse than Biden, why are you spending so much time arguing with them? Please note that they never said Biden was GOOD, just that Trump was WORSE.

nobody thinks trump would be better for Palestinians besides people who … don’t vote

So, aside from the people who think that, nobody thinks that? Helpful. Do you think they’re maybe not voting because they think Trump can’t be any worse?

Please fuck off with your strawmanning OP into a person saying things they definitely didn’t say. Fuck off with your false assertion that we criticise Trump because we love Biden. Fuck off with your “I’m not a russian spy” assertion when nobody ever called you one. Fuck off with your constant smug spamming of the Palestinian flag as if we aren’t on the same fucking side.

You’re not just preaching to the choir, you’re calling the choir blasphemers and heretics. If you’re going to respond to someone, please respond to what they said, and not what you think they could have said.

The only thing they said is “Trump is worse than Biden.” You yourself agreed with that. So why are you demonising them for things they haven’t said?

Honestly, the fact you’re reacting so strongly to a post calling Trump worse than Biden by saying “liberals coming here to do their pissy whataboutism” makes you sound like a Trump supporter trying to take shots at the other side without even realising that Biden ISN’T EVEN RUNNING.

What the fuck conversation are YOU responding to? Cause it’s sure as hell not the one you posted in.

When we put the giraffe in there.

The brick joke is an absolute classic. The only tragedy is that it’s hard to set up without other people coming in with the payoff before you can.

He’s an Arsenal fan. Asking him not to watch them play is just unrealistic.

I will say, this is slightly hurt by the fact we all said these in the comments of the first joke.

I’m trying to think of which robot dystopia/apocalypse this most closely resembles.

(I love when I get to post these joke chains)

How do you get 4 elephants in a mini cooper? -Two in the front, two in the back.

How do you get 2 whales in a mini cooper? -Take the M4 and go over the Severn bridge.

How can you tell there’s an elephant in your fridge? -Footprints in the custard.

How can you tell there’s 2 elephants in your fridge? -You can hear them giggle when the light goes out.

How can you tell there’s 3 elephants in your fridge? -You can’t quite get the door shut.

How can you tell there’s 4 elephants in your fridge? -There’s a mini cooper outside.

“That’ll show those poor!”
“Why are you cheering? You’re not rich.”
“True, but someday, I might be. And then people like me had better watch their step!”

I feel like there are some people who only think the holocaust was bad because it targeted Jews, and it would have been fine if the Jews were left out of it. Just to make it clear, any attempt to bring death to millions of innocent people makes you a level of evil you can never atone for. I don’t care which people they are.

I was about to say! Just need to add a sad rendition of Smells Like Teen Spirit.

I choose to believe “comedy” is what he calls his penis. It’s basically dead, and he hopes technology can revive it.