Dad jokes are the only time where shaking my head in disapproval means I liked it.

Redirect his liquid assets to Ukraine.

I naturally remember this one from time to time.

Well, they’re not going to like what they see.

Jellyfin: Tower of Babel Edition

It looks like they ripped that thing right off of a telephone pole.

AirBnB: Brand new, spacious sleeping unit near beautiful Victorian heritage home.

I saw this one in a newspaper my school bus driver (a middle aged black woman) was reading. I asked her what it meant and she said she had no idea.

Wow, that took me a long time. I need to go to bed early tonight.

Not the sets from The West Wing?

“Had to work late, I needed something to eat before going to bed. Sorry to wake you guys.”

Helene looks like a thrice-divorced hurricane.

I think we’re just a few years away from the planetary cyclones in Day After Tomorrow.

The rhino with the hat is what got me. Little background details like that are what make Larson a genius.

“I didn’t forget.”

The process of scientific discovery is never “Eureka!” but rather “That’s funny…”

Like things we thought we nailed down in the 19th century and haven’t thought to revisit with modern methods and equipment. Then someone decides to look at it again and uncovered a boatload of previously unknown data.

“We thought we understood hiccups, but this changes EVERYTHING!”

(I dunno if hiccups are secretly a scientific black box or not, but you get the idea.)

I searched “John Denver on saxophone” and it returned a bunch of YouTube links that I refuse to click.

elephant_jokes.html

Back when the internet was good.