I’ve been stably poly for 5 years and my biggest lesson has been that stably poly people aren’t who new people wind up with because we aren’t churning through people. I’m just in two long term relationships at the moment. I’m open to another; but I’m very discerning about it. I have a few friends in similar positions.

I think being ethically nonmonogamous is hard but mostly because it’s hard to be vulnerable and treat people right when all your hormones and emotions are flaring. But some of the people I most respect the relationship wisdom of are poly as well. Others are monogamous, and yet both the monogamous and nonmonogamous ones sound very similar when talking about relationships. They speak of honesty, self knowledge, emotional regulation, and a willingness to walk away before it becomes a shit show once you understand it’s no longer working.

But I’ll say this, I’m never going back to monogamy. It wasn’t where I was supposed to be.

Happiness is located in the wife’s arms

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Damn that hits hard

Some of them are Catholics and Catholics don’t subscribe to sola fide, well, it’s against their stated religion, I’ve met plenty who do

Cuban exile votes in a critical state

Why not just use actual cuneiform?

Additionally nobody suspects the person everyone recognizes as helpful as helping in a dangerous way. And they don’t suspect anything of their helping them.

I’ll also say, practice saying the lies you expect to have to tell. “I don’t know anyone like that around here” “I swear allegiance to the party” “I was at home all night reading”

I wouldn’t tell the most hardened and trusted antifascist where she’s hiding. Loose lips sink ships, and good infosec begins with shutting your damn trap.

You know who to give a bit of extra food to. That’s all you need to know aside from the fact that that friend always had a higher metabolism than you so you’d rather ensure they get their fill. That’s it. You know nothing else. If you’re asked about creaking attics lots of attics creak. You can’t let slip what you don’t know so don’t get curious and don’t open up.

They can spend millions trying to reduce everyone’s carbon footprints. Like literally they can lobby for trains and shit. But no they won’t.

Yeah there’s an old saying in engineering school: “look to your left, look to your right. One of you will drop out, one will switch to a business major, and one of you will be an engineer.”

People who go into engineering and tech fields for the money rarely cut it. I love engineering and spend my last year contemplating dropping out to do sex work or something anything but the toll I was putting on my body and mind. If it was just a paycheck I wouldn’t’ve graduated.

Yeah engineering work on an all nighter is worse than not, but you gotta do what you gotta do and it’s physically there then.

Though writing for a classics class is the other area I’ve found all nighters to be acceptable. Though that was as a 19 year old on methylphenidate.

My grandpa likes to talk about how it’s when people stop doing things that they begin the downward spiral. He’s not doing the best at the moment himself but by the standards of a 90 year old he’s doing amazing.

Accomplishment and knowledge are their own rewards, aim for a high score in them

People will often take “I felt like it” or “I thought it looked cool” for an answer. Halloween crossdressing is normal, though yeah some people will wonder if you’re questioning your gender, it’s more because it’s a common safe way to express that and any concern is likely from a desire to help.

And for what it’s worth I’ve known many cis men who like nail polish. Especially as an expression of goth, punk, or emo aesthetics where adopting feminine expressions are seen as cool for guys to do.

For me it’s been rough accepting that I’m absolute bpd bait. I struggle to hold boundaries and am happy to help people in need. Add in a trusting nature and yeah I’m still learning how not to get abused.

Probably would’ve been nice to know I was trans a few years younger but I started hormones at 20 as did a friend my age who came out at 16, so like it probably would’ve been less consequential than much.

The importance of studying. And related, calculus and how electricity works. Both would’ve saved me a lot of money to have learned 6 months earlier.

Also how to say no to someone trying to negotiate your boundaries and use your kindness to push you into a relationship. I should’ve walked away the second she said she wanted to negotiate my no and that she wasn’t going to give up on pursuing me. That situation fucked me up and wasn’t even the first time someone with insufficiently controlled bpd wound up pressuring me into romantic/sexual situations I wasn’t comfortable with by making it harder to say no than to give what they wanted.

Also gotta love the deaf god saying fuck that to it

Yeah it comes from not having a default script to follow. A pillow princess is a woman, usually femme, who exclusively fills the receptive role in sex with women.

As the old saying goes: it’s not penises we aren’t attracted to but the dicks they tend to be attached to. Less hostly said though, it’s that the sensation feels good, and it’s completely unrelated to men. In fact I usually forget that straight people don’t tend to see them as unrelated to men as we often do.

It’s also because like half the time a woman refers to herself as topping a woman that’s the context

Kinda? It kinda permeated in through gay men, trans lesbians, and the kink community and developed a meaning of active partner with a dominant implication. So for example if I go down on my girlfriend before she returns the favor, it probably wouldn’t be called topping. But if I’m three fingers into a pillow princess as she calls me “Miss” you bet your ass that was topping. So it’s definitely more vibes based as versatility is assumed unless otherwise specified (and not being versatile is kinda rare)

It also can refer to who’s wearing the strap at the moment.