In my entire life, I’ve never had the urge to Wumf anything, especially not with a military-style half-automatic club.

Always a bad sign when the heli pad is on the lowest floor of a building.

I guess you’re right in that the headline is not Onion-worthy. But I find “it’s not cheating to cheat using a machine, let’s sue” a rather creative approach.

Or did they change that?

No

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A man of the people, chatting with one of the people.