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Anilist: https://anilist.co/user/itsPixel/

Fedi: @Pixel@urusai.social

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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: June 9th, 2023

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  • I think the observation that there’s more subs than doms, generally speaking, is a salient one and one worth keeping in mind. I honestly wish I had been told that when I was looking actively for a dominant partner because like, yeah you’re almost definitely right it’s just not something I’d ever really thought about bc it’s so much easier to contextualize your own struggle than try to think about the bigger picture


  • I’m masc presenting and I was worried for a while that women tended to not like submissive men, which was really discouraging for me. I found my current partner though, who does, and that’s really changed my perspective. I’m not remarkable in any means (I’m 6’ tall but not conventionally attractive, not thin/don’t have tremendous muscle. Just kinda average) but my perspective has changed from “women don’t like submissive men” to “lots of women do like submissive men, there’s just 1) not a ton of them, 2) they don’t tend to advertise it the same way men do, and 3) they don’t tend to look as intently as submissive men do for dominant partners” – partially because there’s just less dominant women, and partially because I think they find long-term partners that meet those needs and that’s it for them

    I’m not gonna tell you it’s easy, it’s not, but I’m a thoroughly unremarkable person that was pretty comfortably in your shoes for a long time and then I lucked out into my partner. The best advice I can give is being a decent person goes a long way towards smoothing over any concerns with dom/sub dynamics, and if that dynamic is important to you it’s good to be open to talking about it even if it results in failure. Find spaces where advertising that is beneficial too, join your local kink community – I’ve been to a few kink events, namely just sloshes and munches, casual stuff out at a bar. Nothing tremendously freaky, but it’s a good place to find women that might be more interested in someone that identifies themselves as a sub. Good luck!!






  • I want to be clear I’m not blaming you specifically here, or I’m not trying to paint you as a bad actor intentionally. I’m saying that this trend of behavior is common around drama discourse, and I think it’s to the detriment of the situation overall. You’re free to act as you please, you’re free to think I’m virtue signaling, that’s fine and I’m not going to push on that. I’m just trying to use this as an illustration of something that I, as my own individual person, see as an issue surrounding this type of discourse and I wanted to make a point about it accordingly


  • You’re not wrong that people will tie their sense of self up with internet celebrities and refrain from criticizing them accordingly but that doesn’t mean that instincts for someone whom you have ever met justify showing up to vindicate yourself in a thread like this. If you were a victim in a position like this, do you think seeing people say “oh I always knew he was bad” makes you feel any better for putting your faith in someone like this? Do you think that Linus, if he were innocent (not saying he is or isn’t I’m using it to illustrate a hypothetical) wants to see people saying they always thought he was a horrible person if this all shakes out in a way that absolves him of Madison’s abuse with LMG? Who does it benefit to say that you always knew someone was bad?

    Trust your instincts, absolutely. You don’t need to engage with someone if you don’t think they’re good people. But saying “I KNEW” implies you had perfect information, it implies that you’re smarter than dozens of other people about how a situation like this would eventually resolve. That doesn’t benefit anybody, it’s better and more productive to go to the victims, support them, listen to them, and let them speak their piece because ultimately situations like this have to be about them, not about you and how you got a bad vibe from someone on a YouTube video or a Livestream or a few tweets.


  • I agree, I always feel like the “I always knew X was a bad person” discourse that always pops up in the wake of this stuff indicates that like. Somehow you had more knowledge than anyone else about this. It’s basically just fueling your own ego as a result of a situation like this. You don’t know these people, what makes people feel like a gut instinct suffices as sufficiently damning evidence? Like, it’s fine to not like someone and abstain from engaging with them accordingly. That’s okay. But going “I always knew that he was bad” does no good.

    Obviously listen to Madison, trust victims and support them (do note that this doesn’t mean not to listen to further developments and adjust your moral judgment accordingly, come what may) but that doesn’t mean to indulge yourself and over-justify your ability to judge someone you’ve never had an interaction with based on vibes alone, that’s a pretty unhealthy pattern to fall into in my opinion that has negative effects long term that don’t benefit anybody.