Oh shit, it’s me, I’m bitches.

Until some bastard up on Denali shot a football through it, just so humanity would feel loss for the first time in 15,000 years.

They grieved over a bulb cause they hadn’t lost anything else.

MOTHERFUCKER, YOU ARE A GIRL GODDAMN IT

Trans and disabled, so that limits my options a bit.

I think I’d just go back to 2011 and just vibe.

I’m playing it too, mostly I’m just struggling to go whack Heismay and instead just playing Monster’s Expedition yet again.

Monster’s Expedition never gets old.

I wish Metaphor had amounted to more, and I’m frustrated to see yet another calendar RPG.

It’s not a bad game, but it’s the same food they’ve made for decades.

Uh, they are called the USSS, for reasons.

Holy shit, fucking hell, now this is some goddamn wordplay!

I’m stealing this like the fucking British Museum.

I apologize for not meeting your preferences.

Just for you, I looked up their rules.

AHAHAHA

CAUSE THEIR MARRIAGE IS A GODDAMN FAILURE AND THEY HATE EACH OTHER

Fuck this boomer-ass humor.

Love your goddamn spouse with your whole chest or get a divorce and stop fucking about.

Human beings live for 700,000 hours, and you’re gonna spend some of them chained to someone you can’t bear to be around? Fuck that, go find someone who can’t resist you.

I’m an author of two books, and whenever someone asks me for a copy (or even says they want to read it), I straight-up hand them a free ebook. I just want people to read me.

March of the Dreadnoughts, from Final Fantasy XIII!

https://youtu.be/VZw9O0julsA?si=5CAsmLXxJLI-AmgZ

I think it’s my favorite instrumental piece of music.

Yup, he’s doublethinking the suspension of disbelief again:

The cartoon was intended to be an exercise in silliness. While I have never met a cow who could make tools, I felt sure that if I did, they (the tools) would lack something in sophistication and resemble the sorry specimens shown in this cartoon.

I mean, I have never had the thought “dogs don’t visit psychiatrists,” but I also subconsciously internalize the rules of whatever world I’m suspending disbelief in. If dogs are talking and spending money in capitalism in this world, why the hell wouldn’t they also seek therapy?

And Gary seems like no matter what arbitrary world is created, he thinks about it in terms of this world we live in, seemingly an inability to suspend disbelief, and then somehow conjectures the world anyway.

This clash of concepts and reasoning amounted to Cow Tools, in the end.

Yup, there’s three rules about food:

1. Don’t eat what will kill you.
2. Eat stuff that tastes good.
3. Eat stuff that’s good for you.

As long as you never break rule one and only occasionally break rules 2 and 3, you’ll have a good time.

I’ve bought a house, got married, published two books, do stand-up and host a small game show, survived two strokes, transitioned, and have a lot of friends who think I’m tolerable.

I’m a trans woman, so I just keep my head level, pretend I don’t see them, and just walk on by, lest some low-information voter think I’m a child molester and try to get me.

That said, children are absolute trash at paying attention to their destination and their environment, so when they inevitably cross my path in the dumbest possible way, I stop walking until they figure out they should go around me. That way I don’t accidentally kick the tiny knee-high humans.

I was one, once.

I’ve mostly got English and Japanese. English is pretty hard. I’m just a turtle.

英語と日本語が話せる。日本語は簡単だ。亀だけです。

My brain instinctively rejects that image. Not cause it isn’t accurate; it’s showing what it’s supposed to.

But really, that the shape of it is hostile and threatening and it looks vaguely biological and some creepy shit gets sent up and down my spine about it.