We’re living in the strangest timeline.

Spending hours with a bunch of ladies and possibly touching them in intimate locations.

vs

Spending hours with a bunch of guys and possibly touching them in intimate locations. Then showing with them.

Yeah, dance is way gayer.

Suddenly Seymour.

As someone from Maine, I wish articles would specify Oregon in their titles when mentioning Portland. I mean it was named after ours.

A droll factoid.

A Thanksgiving duck!

Poop, pee, and in a pinch: hand washing and hydration.

Astroglide is perfect for this situation. It even has “glide” in the name!

I think it should be legal and regulated. It’s a service that people want and others are willing to fill. We just need laws to protect all parties, particularly the workers.

“Selling is legal. Fucking is legal. Why isn’t selling fucking legal?” -George Carlin

My 8 year old starts almost every sentence with “By the way.”

Head on over to Boston and tell them that they’re in the NYC Metro area, I dare you. I want to watch.

Instead, split New England into Southern and Northern. Southern includes Mass, Rhode Island, Eastern Connecticut (the NYC Metro area is fine there), and south New Hampshire. Northern is everything else. Some may argue that Portland, Maine should be included in Southern, but I argue that while the culture has some similarities to Southern New England, it’s more similar to the rest of Maine. Go to a redneck party in Southern Maine and start talking about the Old Port. Pay attention to how many people have an opinion.

I just can’t even right now or later. I don’t care if that makes me basic.

I think, “Holy shit, I’m gonna be the main course.”

I think that’s a red flag, I don’t want to get stabbed…

How is a meme newsworthy?

The tooth fairy put one of these under my kid’s pillow tonight. The thought is that he’s going to enjoy it more because it’s rare. It will end up in his piggy bank, out of circulation for who knows how long.

I like what they use on the Bananas Podcast. “Guys, gals, and non-binary pals.”

Oh God. Back when I was dirt poor, I needed socks but I wanted to save money, so I wore them for two days, hanging them to dry overnight.

I ended up with athlete’s foot. Don’t skimp on socks.

I used to think Crocs were stupid. I

I was looking for indoor winter footwear for the cold floors: Slippers with socks were too hot. Slippers without socks were too sweaty and gross. Just socks wore out my socks too quickly.

I now have indoor Crocs. They’re great to regulate temperature.