• Akasazh@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    I was born in Victorian Britain and have a very mirthful air about me.

    So one day I was going about my merry business, being my jovial self.

    When I’m walked a creature that saw what I was about, smiled at me and said ‘well aren’t you the gayest person I’ve met all day’.

    I’m not sure how to feel tbh

  • BartyDeCanter@lemmy.sdf.org
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    10 days ago

    Pull through parking. You know, where there are two spaces so you drive through one into the next so you can pull out of the one you park in without having to back up? I got told that was for “girls and gays”.

  • BlueLineBae@midwest.social
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    10 days ago

    One story my husband shared with me was when he and my dad stopped into a local bar after working hard on home renovations all day. They planned to get some dinner and have some beer after a hard day’s work but needed to wash their very dirty hands first. So they went back into the bathroom and washed their hands. Well apparently that was too “gay” for the owner of the bar and they went over to the bathroom and started saying things like “I don’t know what you think you’re doing in there” and “I just need to make sure you’re not doing anything funny”. So they ended up just leaving while the guy yelled at them saying they had to buy something.

    A slightly different version of this concept also happened to my husband. At one point, 2 of our lady friends were talking about fashion and my husband, who is MUCH more fashionable than I am, chimed in. They proceeded to tell him that he’s “not allowed to have an opinion because he’s a man” which is the most double standard bullshit I’ve ever heard come out of any of my friends mouths. It’s stuck with me for a long time now because I think it keeps me honest with myself about standards and reminds me to think about how opinions change when you flip genders.

    • TheImpressiveX@lemmy.ml
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      10 days ago

      They planned to get some dinner and have some beer after a hard day’s work but needed to wash their very dirty hands first. So they went back into the bathroom and washed their hands. Well apparently that was too “gay” for the owner of the bar and they went over to the bathroom and started saying things like “I don’t know what you think you’re doing in there” and “I just need to make sure you’re not doing anything funny”.

      Fellas, is it gay to practice basic personal hygiene?

        • hitmyspot@aussie.zone
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          9 days ago

          I usually just wet my pants to avoid touching my own penis so I don’t get perceived as gay. Shit, I just used the word perceived. Gay af.

      • Death_Equity@lemmy.world
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        10 days ago

        I think the bar owner thought they might be going into the bathroom to do gay stuff, not that washing their hands is gay.

        • lunarul@lemmy.world
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          10 days ago

          Two men walking in the bar and going straight to the bathroom together. Man jumped to conclusions.

          • Death_Equity@lemmy.world
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            10 days ago

            Well it is called “homophobia” and a “phobia” is an irrational fear.

            He lives his life in fear of two consenting men. Lol

            • eldavi@lemmy.ml
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              10 days ago

              I had the realization recently that homophobes think of gay sex as often as I do; but they have to jump through mental gymnastics to get it while I simply open up app and I’m back to normal an hour or so later.

              I can’t image how hard it is to be happy and hold such a defining part of your life with such contempt at the same time and that was the first time I’ve ever felt sorry for a homophobe; it was for Aaron shock.

  • brandon@lemmy.ml
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    10 days ago

    I once got called the f-slur for having the audacity to read a book in public, outdoors in front of the library.

  • SeaJ@lemm.ee
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    10 days ago

    I grew up in the 90s so just existing would cause people to call you gay.

  • superkret@feddit.org
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    10 days ago

    I was told I’m gay because I like knitting.
    I mean, yes I’m gay, but not because of that.

  • AA5B@lemmy.world
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    10 days ago

    Stand in awe at a replica of Michaelangelo’s David.

    Admittedly staring at a statue of a naked guy, but come on

  • paddirn@lemmy.world
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    9 days ago

    Sucking my best friend’s dick. I’m sorry, but if my friend is having a bad day, giving him a bro-job is not gay.

    • snek_boi@lemmy.ml
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      9 days ago

      I’m generally skeptical of comments on the internet, so almost every time I have read comments like this one that you’re reading right now, I’ve been like “yeah right”. Kinda like how “lol” means “laughing out loud” but when you read it online you don’t really expect whoever wrote “lol” to have laughed out loud? Anyway, I was drinking coffee, I read your comment, I snorted in laughter, and now my white shirt is full of coffee.

      I guess I’m also kinda mad at myself for laughing so hard at such a silly joke. Regardless, have an updoot 👍

    • grue@lemmy.world
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      10 days ago

      It wasn’t your skates that did it; it was your crop top and hotpants. j/k

    • Christian@lemmy.ml
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      10 days ago

      I haven’t thought about this in like 20 years but when I was in middle school late 90s some kid had an album where one of the songs was titled “You Rollerblading (f-slur)” and I remember thinking it was the worst music I had heard in my life. 90% sure it was grindcore music, I didn’t know what grindcore was at the time but my memory of the sound kind of fits that mold and the album had like fifty tracks and every single one of them was like 10-15 seconds long.

        • Christian@lemmy.ml
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          10 days ago

          Looking at this now, you are correct, and while I wasn’t proud of myself for having thought the song titles were funny, I feel a bit more embarrassed now than I did two minutes ago before looking it up. Edgy teenagers were clearly this band’s target audience.

          • deranger@sh.itjust.works
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            10 days ago

            I found out about them during the Napster/Kazaa era looking for 311 songs and their song “311 sucks” came up. I thought it was funny, then again, I was an edgy teenager at that time.

    • Ænima@lemm.ee
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      8 days ago

      There was a show, Human Giant I think it was called, which was like skit comedy. Aziz Ansari (spelling?) was in it. In the skit, he was talking about rollerblading and I lost it when, with a straight face, he said, “the hardest thing about rollerblading is telling your parents’ you’re gay.”

    • nomous@lemmy.world
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      9 days ago

      And up to the first knuckle, you don’t have to jam soap up there but wash your nasty ass if you expect anyone to not gag when they get near your crotch.

      Some of yall are nasty.

    • Wahots@pawb.social
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      8 days ago

      Seriously. If I was a girl, there’s no way I’d want to fuck someone with a filthy asshole, especially on my sheets. Skidmarks on the sheets and smelling like old shit is gross.

      Wash your ass and groin with soap and water just like you do your armpits and feet.

      My unasked for advice? Keep your butthole hair trimmed or shaved. Makes it much easier to keep clean, and it takes two seconds in the shower.

    • Jayb151@lemmy.world
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      9 days ago

      Yes, why would you expect anyone to stuff something up there if you’re not going to at least keep it clean!?

  • fakeman_pretendname@feddit.uk
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    9 days ago

    In the 1990s in the UK, it was gay to wear a backpack using both shoulder straps (as opposed to using one strap over one shoulder, which was the heterosexual way to carry things to school).

    • DJDarren@thelemmy.club
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      9 days ago

      As a fellow school child in the ‘90s, I can confirm that almost anything anyone did was gay. Holding hands with a girl? Gay. Liking video games? Gay.

      • fakeman_pretendname@feddit.uk
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        9 days ago

        According to the best school playground scientists of the time, opening a packet of crisps upside down (i.e. so the branding/writing is upside down, and you open the bottom of the packet, at the top) actually “made you gay”.

        It wasn’t just gay if you did it, but it would literally cause a spontaneous eruption of gayness in whoever did it - who would be permanently gay from that point onwards.

    • fox2263@lemmy.world
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      9 days ago

      Other way round now. And they have little satchel things too on their chest.

      Bizarre times

  • Nath@aussie.zone
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    9 days ago

    Dance. In a troupe full of girls. Honestly, it was me and 15-20 girls.

    Other boys literally called me gay for dancing, while they went and played whatever sports they did and then all went into a locker room and showered together etc.

    I honestly never understood how they thought dance was gay. I don’t understand it now.

    • Dyskolos@lemmy.zip
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      9 days ago

      They didn’t either. One idiot started it out of jealousy (i presume) and the rest just parrotted him. People and their group dynamics…

      • Meltrax@lemmy.world
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        9 days ago

        Ok so the whole “the other kids are just jealous” thing is, I think, disengenious.

        Sometimes kids just suck. They make fun of other kids for anything. They aren’t necessarily jealous. They might be uncomfortable. They might be vindictive at the time. They might basically be playing “spot the difference” (i.e. that kid dances, my friend doesn’t dance, look that’s different) so they make fun of one side of that equation.

        In this case, I feel like the kids probably were not jealous. I feel like they were just idiot kids. Same end result but I don’t know, it seems unhelpful to bullying victims to just tell them that everyone is jealous of them, sadly that’s not usually the case.

        • Dyskolos@lemmy.zip
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          9 days ago

          Sure, who knows. I just assumed that some boys were very jealous of the rockstar with a whole group of girls 😁 But yeah, kids can also be just idiots. We weren’t there.

          And sure it’s not usually the case, and i wouldn’t tell that to any bullied kid. It just screamed jealousy in this particular case.

    • BananaPeal@sh.itjust.works
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      9 days ago

      Spending hours with a bunch of ladies and possibly touching them in intimate locations.

      vs

      Spending hours with a bunch of guys and possibly touching them in intimate locations. Then showing with them.

      Yeah, dance is way gayer.

  • Zier@fedia.io
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    10 days ago

    Here’s something to ponder. The next time someone accuses you of being gay for [insert lame reason here], ask them how they know that’s gay? Are they gay? Funny how some “men” are so obsessed with “gay” stuff. Always remember, and never forget, closets are for clothes.

    • bdonvr@thelemmy.club
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      10 days ago

      I definitely employed this strategy in middle school

      Doesn’t generally work because logic doesn’t work on these people

      • Nasan@sopuli.xyz
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        8 days ago

        I went this route in high school at a dude i had classes with that kept insisting his dick was bigger than everyone’s. Eventually I’d ask how he knew, that we didn’t have gym class or do the same sports so he would’ve had to go out of his way to check or ask other people.

        He would compulsively bring it up, only to get shut down when me or one of my friends started calling him the dick expert with a meticulous catalog of all the dude’s sizes.