If they would prevent people and companies to own more than six houses or flazs, that would make way more sense.
In Texas, owning more dildos than guns is a crime. Probably.
They probably have some that are dual purpose.
Normalize mailing Texas lawmakers 7 dildos.
Nooo. That’s what they want you to do.
It’s been their whole plan all along!
Do they want used ones?
Of course it’s possible to own more than 6 assault rifles, right?
Only if you compromise and get the assault rifles without dildo attachments. Unacceptable to me, that’s why I don’t live in Texas.
Not if you get the wrong type of pleasure out of those rifles I guess…
Suzie no! Don’t put the rife there!
Does Texas employ door-to-door dildo inspectors?
Is there a state office of dildo regulations, wieghts, and measures?
What are they going to do next? Make registry of dildos? Have a dildo buyback program? Regulate the length and girth?
Home inspections would trigger lots of backlash. This will just regulate physical stores because the lawmakers are boomers. Also you can’t have a massively-multi-dildo display at home if you expect snitches to come over.
Maybe they’ll use this as an excuse to monitor people’s online activity and/or mail. What if you’re buying dildos? Also lathes and 3D printers might become popular among sex shops for on-demand production. Invest!
Everything’s s dildo if you are brave enough.
Certainly color…
The very people that come up with these pearl clutch laws are the same people who also want to legalize marrying 12 year olds. But won’t anyone think of the children, PLEASE!
And scream about “parents rights”
that’s a funny way to spell child brides.
Does my double-ended dildo count as one or two? Does size matter? Does a tarzan with bunny ears count as one or two? Does my hand count? How about a cucumber?
So many questions.
At this rate they’ll need to define and standardize what constitutes a dildo so they can ban the right things. At what length is a dildo dangerously concealable? Do fully vibromatic dildos need to be more strictly controlled? Is a cucumber a dildo, or an AOP (Any Other Phallus)? Should doctor’s offices hold dildo buybacks?
I will personally develop a toy that juuuuuust skirts the edges of their definitions called a dildon’t. I see a glorious market in my future.
Ghost dildos?
who cares, ill send people more double ended dildos to fight against the law!
What if they’re dildo shaped guns? Would Texas ever dare to ban those?
what is not fair is that all texans have at least one dildo as long as elon resides there.
It’s just like enforcing in-home nudity when the blinds are shut, how are they gonna enforce this?
Ladies and gentlemen, as is tradition when this utter foolishness is discussed, may I present: Texas Annie, performed by The Wet Spots
Well, Texas Annie had a big fat fanny, and she drove a black sedan She had Ben Wa Balls in her overalls and a trunk full of contraband And when the fog was thick, she’d pack her dicks, and sneak across the county line 'Cause in Texas, any tool for masturbation is a crime
Hard-livin’ and promiscuous, she kinda liked the risk She was a liquor-drinkin’ dildo-runnin’ rascal With an electronic phallus for each housewife up in Dallas An’ a probe for every asshole in El Paso
Cos you can’t buy a dildo in Texas We don’t touch ourselves down there round here, ya’ hear? And it says so in the Bible that a vibe’ll leave you liable For a prison term of twenty-seven years
If you put two spaces at the end of each line you want a line break after, it’ll make a new line in the output.
That was great! Thanks, I’ve never heard that before
Here’s another by someone completely different that fits the theme too!
I’m going to Texas and buying 50 dildos because fuck you that’s why (also I will be selling the dildos at a slight discount afterwards)
You know that State is infamous for capital punishment of innocent people, right? You may want to rethink your tactics
Sometimes they just let their people freeze to death and then blame obama
thanks obama
I don’t even think he was born here, but I really really really think that matters
i sacrifice myself for the greater good of orgasms.
I think you can support the greater good of orgasms and filling of various orifices without sacrificing yourself tho
oh…ok
Can they rent Ted Cruz instead? He’s a dildo.
Ted Cruz is the seventh dildo
Will there be an official Office of Dildo Inspections? With Dildo Inspectors making rounds, carefully checking every household for staying within their allotted number of items? Will the billboards aside the vast highways advertise the government hotline for anonymous reporting of infractions?
And if not, well, they’re clearly cowards. If you’re going to pass a law like that, you have to go all the way!
Seriously though, I sometimes wonder how this period of time will be described in history books 50 years from now.
A Texas jobs program! You too can have a bright future as a state dildo inspector!