• Treczoks@lemmy.world
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    3 days ago

    If they would prevent people and companies to own more than six houses or flazs, that would make way more sense.

  • postmateDumbass@lemmy.world
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    6 days ago

    Does Texas employ door-to-door dildo inspectors?

    Is there a state office of dildo regulations, wieghts, and measures?

  • tiny@midwest.social
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    6 days ago

    What are they going to do next? Make registry of dildos? Have a dildo buyback program? Regulate the length and girth?

    • ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.org
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      6 days ago

      Home inspections would trigger lots of backlash. This will just regulate physical stores because the lawmakers are boomers. Also you can’t have a massively-multi-dildo display at home if you expect snitches to come over.

      Maybe they’ll use this as an excuse to monitor people’s online activity and/or mail. What if you’re buying dildos? Also lathes and 3D printers might become popular among sex shops for on-demand production. Invest!

  • Phoenixz@lemmy.ca
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    6 days ago

    The very people that come up with these pearl clutch laws are the same people who also want to legalize marrying 12 year olds. But won’t anyone think of the children, PLEASE!

  • Angel Mountain@feddit.nl
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    6 days ago

    Does my double-ended dildo count as one or two? Does size matter? Does a tarzan with bunny ears count as one or two? Does my hand count? How about a cucumber?

    So many questions.

    • CaptSatelliteJack@lemy.lol
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      6 days ago

      At this rate they’ll need to define and standardize what constitutes a dildo so they can ban the right things. At what length is a dildo dangerously concealable? Do fully vibromatic dildos need to be more strictly controlled? Is a cucumber a dildo, or an AOP (Any Other Phallus)? Should doctor’s offices hold dildo buybacks?

  • weew@lemmy.ca
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    6 days ago

    What if they’re dildo shaped guns? Would Texas ever dare to ban those?

  • mPony@lemmy.world
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    7 days ago

    Ladies and gentlemen, as is tradition when this utter foolishness is discussed, may I present: Texas Annie, performed by The Wet Spots

    Well, Texas Annie had a big fat fanny, and she drove a black sedan She had Ben Wa Balls in her overalls and a trunk full of contraband And when the fog was thick, she’d pack her dicks, and sneak across the county line 'Cause in Texas, any tool for masturbation is a crime

    Hard-livin’ and promiscuous, she kinda liked the risk She was a liquor-drinkin’ dildo-runnin’ rascal With an electronic phallus for each housewife up in Dallas An’ a probe for every asshole in El Paso

    Cos you can’t buy a dildo in Texas We don’t touch ourselves down there round here, ya’ hear? And it says so in the Bible that a vibe’ll leave you liable For a prison term of twenty-seven years

  • 1985MustangCobra@lemmy.ca
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    7 days ago

    I’m going to Texas and buying 50 dildos because fuck you that’s why (also I will be selling the dildos at a slight discount afterwards)

  • umbraroze@lemmy.world
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    6 days ago

    Will there be an official Office of Dildo Inspections? With Dildo Inspectors making rounds, carefully checking every household for staying within their allotted number of items? Will the billboards aside the vast highways advertise the government hotline for anonymous reporting of infractions?

    And if not, well, they’re clearly cowards. If you’re going to pass a law like that, you have to go all the way!

    Seriously though, I sometimes wonder how this period of time will be described in history books 50 years from now.