They treat service people well.
I was going to write this one.
they read books
After 4 years of engineering I’m scared of books now…😂😂😂
The trick is to read something that’s fictional and less dry. Fantasy would be an excellent choice. Sci Fi if you still enjoy things slightly more grounded in reality.
valid lol, sometimes gotta take a break for a while
Oh man. I wish i could read a book!
What’s keeping you?
I dunno…distractions, too much commitment, feels indulgent,… ? Just got a book for my birthday and read the first 100 pages aloud in the car because my husband and son wanted to hear it. Now it’s been on my coffee table for two weeks and I’m struggling to pick it back up.
It’s not really indulgent to take some time for yourself. Maybe your also missing the right book to get you interested. What kind of story are you interested in?
Thank you for the motivation
When i was younger (before kids) i read a lot - mostly Stephen King and classics and it’s still what i really like. Kids are grown, but i have a hard time saying, “I’m going to sit here for an hour and read.” There’s always something to do…bills, husband, animals, house, yard, etc. and when i veg I mostly turn to mindlessly browsing my phone because it’s 2 minute chunks that you can put down anytime. After 15 years of working at the same job i just found out that my lunch break is 60 minutes instead of 30 - maybe I’ll bring a book and try to use that time to read.
As a fellow reader, how do you identify others in the wild? I feel like my method sucks…
They’re reading a book
My method is very simple, just looking for people who sit and read in trains, cafés, etc., most people who do that tend to be people who like to read books.
Plus they love it when you pull off their headphones to ask what they’re reading.
I just talk about books I’ve read when relevant, or during the “whatve you been up to?” small talk.
^ this
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This. Someone who is willing to come down to my ignorant level in a subject and reward me for my tiny effort and interest in it, is an immediate win in my book. Though it is a hard line to cross without going into smirky/mansplaining territory.
For example, Veritasium videos are always fantastic, but I can’t get over how the man smirks when he explains concepts, despite the fact that it’s his natural smile.
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I think you have to want to share your enthusiasm about something
This, the enthusiasm sells the authenticity of it, and people are more willing to listen.
I have a friend who teaches high school history and has traveled a lot. She’s great at this! I feel like i can talk to her about almost anything and she never makes me feel stupid.
Somewhat related… I work at a garden center and my manager is a professor of horticulture. When I transferred to her department, I thought I would be learning so much, but this woman has no passion for teaching and is cynical about everything. She sucks the life and fun out of work. Luckily I enjoy working with my other coworkers, and everybody likes me better than they do her.
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Bit of an update… 3 out of 4 of us employed under her are planning to quit after the new year. We’re just finishing the holiday season because it’s a busy time and don’t want to bail when it’s all hands on deck right now.
The 4th person is only part-time and we haven’t told him yet about our plans, so he may join us once he finds out.
All of us are quitting because of the manager.
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I do this when I play MTG or board games with people. I’m not like professional MTG good or anything but it is the kind of complex system I tend to do really well in. I want to have fun too though so a lot of times I end up trying to control the board in a way to make my opponent think about specific challenges to overcome to defeat me. Gives me something to do that isn’t obliterating them and they get to have an engaging game out of it too
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I’d say it depends who I’m against but overall yeah. There’s always something to be learning in that game and if someone completely new to the game finds a novel way around a challenge than I’ll tuck that away in my toolbelt as well. I also have to know some really obscure parts of how things work together to orchestrate the kind of board state I’m talking about so lots of research goes into it.
I actually do this mostly as a way to learn about new people; see how they approach problem solving and how they socially interact with me (MTG is a space I’m comfortable in so I end up talking way more than usual during play); but I have a couple close friends we mostly try and out shitpost each other with ridiculous gameplay. And then sometimes, on a rare occasion if someone is rude to me, I can take off the training wheels and use my finely tuned bullshittery to make them pick up their ball and go home lol
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They are happy to see you!
They handle stress and disappointment well.
They don’t externalize their frustrations, and take responsibility for solving their own problems. They act like a functioning adult.
They have interests and hobbies that they are happy to do alone, or share.
Unfair - but they don’t have intense money, drug, social pressure in their life, a stable situation is the good grounds for relationships
bonus: If their parents are attractive, then they could be a good partner who ages gracefully with you
That bonus really looked like it was going somewhere else for a second there.
bonus: if their parents are attractive, you have a potential thruple opportunity to fall back on if the relationship sours.
“Then you might have a plan B if the relationship doesn’t work out as expected”
Uses vim?
I, too, appreciate a clean bathroom
Now I’m not dating someone unless they can prove their vim skills. Probably I’m gonna die alone.
:wq is the equivalent of sexting you
Maybe :q! (Bang)
I like to stay safe with my sexting
I only date someone if they have successfully entered, and exited, the gates of vim.
What if they did it once like 10 years ago then immediately changed to something else to preserve their sanity?
And she is lesbian
If a person carries their trash with them until they stumble upon a trash bin they instantly have a plus in my book.
That’s such a low bar, i feel sorry for your past
It is, but it’s pretty alarming how many people I see not doing this :/
I wouldn’t consider them people if they don’t have the cognitive ability to hold onto their trash to throw into a trash can.
I’m pretty sure you can train a crow to do better
I mean I agree with you, but yet, I still see humans do it all the time
next step is holocaust
You might be surprised
The simple virtue of being able to genuinely express these words; “I don’t know”, “Sorry” and “Thank you” (or any derivative of these*).
Being able to admit a mistake is huge, being able to genuinely apologize without some cop-out disclaimer is even better.
Kindness to animals. Just all animals, generally
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I mean, I’d say that knowing not to overeat is probably a good thing, but I’m guessing you mean it from a vegan/vegetarian context, and I’m just gonna say No. No it does not mean that. In fact, veganism is something of a yellow flag for me. I’ve known vegans who were good people, but I’ve known a disproportionate amount who were insufferable, self-righteous pricks. I recognize there is a bias there in that there are probably vegans I met whose dietary lifestyle I’ve never known about, but that’s already besides the point. Veganism is not a green flag
And if you didn’t meant that, then I really am curious as to what you meant by “unnecessarily”
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If you go around yelling at people to put down the hamburger, people are gonna tell you to mind your own business. That’s why people think vegans are insufferable. The ones who don’t do this, you never know they’re vegans because they mind their own business. Really fucks with the numbers, so I’ll clarify and say that someone who makes it a point to steer a conversation to how they’re vegan is a yellow flag. Veganism itself is not at all a problem
I welcome a world in which factory farms are gone. The amount of actual cruelty needed to sustain our population and capitalist demand is insane and depressing, but we are nowhere near winning that fight with boycotting animal products, and we never will. It won’t make a difference. The improvement of substitute meat with systemic and legislative change will do that, and that’s what we need to push for
So yeah, I’m not offended because a vegan told me not to eat a hamburger. I’m annoyed because a vegan went out of their way to steer the conversation towards their own moral superiority
So I’ll apologize for having reacted so defensively, but I don’t think that eating meat and having empathy for animals is mutually exclusive. It sure just seemed to me like you were telling me that veganism should be a green flag for me, and it just really isn’t. It’s whatever. If I find out a person is a vegan, I’m not gonna be more attracted to them; I’ll just now know not to offer them a chicken nugget
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Alright well my point is nobody asked you. Without massive legislative and systemic changes, and improvements on meat substitutes, you’ll never end factory farms. Not enough people will ever care to put down the hamburger, no matter how annoying you are about it, in order for a consumer’s wallet vote to make a difference in the industry. You can sit up there on your high horse, talking about how only vegans actually have empathy, while people roll their eyes at you fulfilling the stereotypes that discredit veganism. By all means, be a vegan. I fully support that. I even encourage it, but that is a lifestyle choice you make for yourself. I don’t believe the efforts of veganism are at all effective, and capitalism, horrendous though it is, has successfully alienated me from my food source that I am able to still have empathy and love for animals while consuming meat. The cow I eat was gonna die anyway
You’re not some moral paragon; You’re proving exactly why veganism is a yellow flag for me
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and this is why its a yellow flag. it can be a green one, or on your case, a red one.
Raising the issue isnt the problem. beeing a pretentious dick about it is.
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That seems to illustrate the point that LadyLikesSpiders was making – quite nicely.
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what you dont seem to grasp is that there is a way to be yourself (gay) or have your opinions (you beeing vegan) without beeing an asshole about it.
I think people made it clear here that they werent interested in changing their opinions on eating animal(products), yet you continue to berate them. Do you realize that this causes the people you are talking to to get defensive, and less likely to change their opinion?
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Why would veganism be a yellow flag?
Veganism is caring for the well being of animals… Veganism is definitely a green flag. Being insufferable is a red flag.
It seems to me you are the one being insufferable. Just because you are not vegan and like eating aninals, you see those who do otherwise as insufferable and self righteous picks and even see veganism as a yellow flag.
PS. I am not vegan.
No, I see vegans who think they’re better than everyone else by virtue of their veganism as insufferable. I’ve no issue with vegans who keep to themselves I would welcome a world of impossible meat should we get to that point and encourage a switch to more sustainable diets as allowed by our infrastructure, but we’re simply not there
Vegans are a yellow flag to me because most of the times, when someone comes up to me unprompted to talk about how eating animals is bad, they’re assholes about it. I was approached here, unprompted, in my comment about liking animals in a post about green flags. If their veganism comes up when I offer food and they just say they don’t eat that, that’s no problem. That’s why it’s a yellow flag. Veganism isn’t bad, it just has a bunch of annoying pricks in it that make 'em all look bad
So yeah, just to be clear, I do not oppose veganism. Veganism is a yellow flag because very often they bring it up out of the blue just to get on their high horse
Veganism sucks because it’s libshit, consumer-side choices which don’t meaningfully impact the world but if you point that point up they freak out because of all the personal sacrifices they made have just been invalidated. They also have a tendency to scream down indigenous people for eating their traditional diets which is just another case of white people thinking they’re more moral than everyone else even though all they are is guilty as fuck for upholding systems of oppression.
Case in point, how many vegens have you seen pressuring their government to stop meat subsidies? Zero. It would have severe impacts on meat consumption but they’re never going to do it because the point was never to make change, only to wash their hands of moral guilt.
Not all vegans are white people, which is very important because there are indigenous people who are vegan, Latinamerican, African and from many other places of origin, and many other non-white people who are vegan.
It looks like you haven’t even researched about this, since many vegans in Europe have been protesting and asking to end meat and dairy subsidies.
Please research before spreading hate towards a philosophy you don’t know anything about.
You can always tell an offended white person, but you can’t tell them much.
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Agree for sure, but in the spirit of fairness, I suppose I should clarify that when I say “vegan” I’m specifically referring to exactly the kind of person you mentioned. Though I don’t know any, I’m sure there must be vegan organizations out there that DO push for systemic change, and that they remain largely unseen by non-vegans because they don’t make it anyone else’s problem. This goes for any vegan. You only know about the ones who are loud about it. I mentioned my bias in the comment, and I just wanna make sure it’s pointed out because I’ve had to clarify, like, 30 times already 😅
But yeah, I’m with you on this. veganism gets used so much simply for moral grandstanding without the chance for any counter examples that any time someone mentions they’re vegan, unless it’s in some explicit context, I have to brace myself for dealing with someone who acts like they’re the pinnacle of morality
I’m not a vegan but I think you are completely biased here.
The vast majority of vegans that you know are the ones who are vocal about it. Most vegans aren’t, and so they are overrepresented by those who are.
Yes, I did mention the bias in my comment, and again in someone else’s reply. To clarify, veganism is a yellow flag specifically because if I know about it, there is a decent chance it’s because they were annoying about it. If vegans were actually just all like that, it’d be a red flag
Yes, annoying vegans who are very pushy about vegans exists. However, It seems like your bias stems from your intolerance towards any mentioning of veganism.
A vegan saying ‘I am vegan’ would be annoying to you, as if existing as a vegan is an offense. This is what you sound like when you say veganism is a yellow flag.
Personally, I find that there are far more meat eaters out there who are much more vocal and annoying about hating vegans than there actual annoying vegans. I like eating meat, but I don’t find that I need to be defensive about it around vegans.
You misunderstand my “intolerance”. I don’t care if someone’s a vegan. I’m annoyed that I stated my green flag, and then a vegan came here to assert that my green flag should be something different and vegan. I was defensive because I was defending my position. In my experience, people who go out of their way to make the conversation about veganism are as preachy as Christians trying to convert you. It’s a yellow flag, meaning it’s not a red flag, but it makes me watch out, because it’s associated with behaviors I don’t like. It’s like men who call themselves Doms, and people who are just super into WW2 military history. There is a non-neglible chance that it’s gonna go from something innocuous to a red flag
I don’t hate vegans; I’m not saying someone is a bad person because they’re vegans; I’m saying that too many times a vegan has come out of nowhere unprovoked to act like they’re morally superior. I am just as annoyed by meat eaters who go out of their way to talk about being carnivores and how great they think they are
Comparing veganism to toxic masculinity is just wild. You have a completely skewed perception of what the vast majority of vegans are like out there.
You think that the act of vegans existing is morally superior, whether or not they’ve said or done anything.
Nothing is being misunderstood here. You don’t get to say ‘I don’t care if someone’s a vegan’ and then say ‘veganism is a yellow flag’ in the same breath. That’s some cognitive dissonance if I’ve seen any before.
For you. Red/yellow/green flags can be entirely subjective, and what’s yellow for you can be green for someone else.
Completely agree. It’s a yellow flag for me. Veganism is also not a core component of empathy towards animals, but if someone comes into my comment about the subjective colors of my flags to tell me what should be a part of green flags, I’m gonna hold my position. This was my comment
Although perhaps I reacted to defensively. Maybe I mistook the intention of the other commenter, so to clarify I will say that I do not think that veganism/vegetarianism is required to be an animal lover, but I do not think that veganism in itself is a bad thing, only that someone being a vegan is not some kind of go-ahead that attracts me
What do you define as unnecessarily because if I didn’t, I would never get enough meaningful food.
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Do you or I know my diet and life better? I’m on a low meat diet but not a no meat diet.
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- vegan
- soft spoken
- patient
- hands scarred/calloused from work
- creases in face from smiling
- casual manner/attire
- walks around other earthlings on footpaths etc instead of through
- puts their shopping trolley away, bonus if they round up others
- mocks authority
- is kind to children and listens to them seriously
i see your mocks authority and raise you an acab.
these are good green flags. I see the flak youre getting from folks doing the whole “make fun of vegans on the internet” thing, and wanted to say that the vegans Ive met irl have been really chill folks that are willing to make sacrifices for a better society. idk why vegans get trashed on online for sharing the long list of pros for veganism, as if people don’t share opinions online all the time.
personally, I’m on a reduce animal products in ways i can with an occasional “treat yo-self” day, but that’s mostly because ive lived a lot of my life being poor and havent always been able to select my own diet.
excited for more lab grown options, and I love when vegan options exist because they are usually unique, delicious, and dont have dairy(am allergic).
We’re all on our own journey. I spent 25 years eating, wearing, or otherwise using our fellow earthlings to various degrees before I realised I didn’t want to be someone who kills when I don’t have to.
I am grateful for what kindness you practice and I hope you will continue to reflect on your relationship with earthlings.
Sounds awesome!
Mocking authority is a green flag?
Of course, authority is a pretty fucked up concept as implemented in our society. It’s almost always nothing more than the threat of violence for not subsuming your own needs to the needs of another. The other usually claiming that privilege through nonsense like birthright, wealth, closeness to power structures or similar.
Anyone who uses such a ridiculous thing is at best a fool. Calling out injustice and laughing at awful people is definitely a green flag.
Consider say the difference between interacting with a cop and a firefighter. The cop claims authority, do what they say or be tortured into compliance. The firefighter has no authority and yet I’ll bet you trust everything they say a lot more than the cop and are far more willing to cooperate.
The firefighter is an authority on fire safety, and shouldn’t be mocked for that authority
There’s a lot of writing on subtle details of sorts of authority and it’s a bit of a problem with language.
You could say that you voluntarily grant the firefighter temporary authority in some circumstances or whatever but to avoid quibbling over language for essays let’s agree that there is a difference between someone imposing authority vs an individual deciding to believe someone should be listened to because of some domain expertise.
It’s probably due to autism traits but “mocking authority” sounds like just mocking anyone relying on previous experience or education rather being able to justify their position in the situation at hand. Compare to the logical fallacy of “relying on authority”
When it comes to fire safety, I don’t need to know exactly with sources why some areas need to be “fire cells” while other areas, similar in my eyes, doesn’t if the information comes from a fire fighter. I rely completely on his/her authority on the matter and doesn’t need any more evidence to let the fire fighter enforce those laws and regulations.
Im guessing that in this context “authority” in the thread starter text is shorthand for “perceived authority by the enforcer without real and safe recourse for the person having authority enforced upon”?
Since both the cop and fire fighter have means of legal repercussions if their authority is not followed I mean.
I’m not sure I follow. For the purposes of my example the firefighter has no legal recourse if you don’t listen. They’re just random volunteers where I live.
I don’t want to get too hung up on definitions because that’s counter productive I think. So what I’m talking about is that sometimes humans rely on power, real or perceived, in order to demand that others subsume their own desires and submit to those of the powerful.
Examples are police and other violent gangs - do what I say or I shoot you, capitalists - work for me or I will starve you, shitty parents - do what I say or I will hurt you.
I am calling that authority, notice that at no point is there consent from the person authority is being claimed over (it’s not consent if it’s coerced).
On the other hand people sometimes agree to perform certain roles with each other, or to be bound by certain rules in order to undertake some endeavour. For example when I am teaching my niece science she agrees to solve the problems I ask her to solve, but there is no coercion here. She is free to say at any moment “no” and I am free to either withdraw my offer to teach, ask a different question, propose a break or whatever else. Similarly working groups might elect someone among them to manage a project, but this isn’t authority (as I have defined above) if they are free to relect a project manager, refuse directions or whatever.
Various writers have waffled to varying extents trying to pin down specific definitions. I side with those who think it’s clearer to distinguish between the two social arrangements by not calling the second one authority.
Where I live the fire fighters are a professional force tasked with emergency tasks as well as enforcing compliance with fire safety regulations, as an example an association I work with had to pay a fine due to having some of the smoke detectors non functioning. Thats an authority I have no issue with, with goes back to the word “mocking” authority rather than “questioning” authority.
One sounds like the refusal of having another party authority over oneself, the latter implies a valuation if the authority is proper, fitting and reasonable or not.
I’m infamous for understanding to an extent, but that’s like saying “Japanese police are bad, therefore being in the Yakuza is a green flag”. I too am not that fond of authority, but that doesn’t make every robber a Robin Hood.
I missed this.
Violent thugs claim authority regardless of the source. The cops claim the law enables them to torture you into compliance, the gangs claim it by right of might.
The reason is not relevant, laugh at them all (where doing so won’t get you killed).
This doesn’t mean fuck rules or cooperation. If my friends and I play a board game we all agree to be bound by collective rules for the pursuit of some mutual fun. Of course nobody has authority in the same sense, anyone is free to say “I don’t think this rule is fun, can we change it?” or “I’m not having fun right now, I’m sorry but I’d like to stop playing”.
I love people who help others, I just also love it when those helpful people burst out laughing when someone says “that’s Mr Bossman to you!”.
As to your reply to other person, yeah a lot of people don’t respect authority and laugh at it. I think it’s a green flag. Some people kiss the ring and lick the boot. Those people scare me because I can’t think of any reason except that they dream of being over another.
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I thought you meant in an antagonistic sense, like someone who gestures they’re at war with authority, especially in favor of doing anything and everything.
Well if that’s what you mean, don’t we all mock people in authority at times? We do live in a memes culture after all. I commonly joke about how the police where I live are a family business, especially as they aren’t that great.
Seems you are using that brain again. Didn’t school teach you not to do that?
Cop and firefighter was a good example.
Mocking authority for me would be a red flag as it’s a sign of immaturity. The people in my life that do this are the ones that tend to be emotionally rash, and inability to control emotions is a huge red flag.
However not just submitting to authority and being confident enough to stand up to it while being respectful, that’s a green flag.
why respect someone who’s threatening you? That’s the implicit case with authority “bow to me or I will make you suffer”
Who gains anything there except the authoritarian? Why do you want people to respect that?
We get on with each other fine without it.
What do you gain from treating them with disrespect, other than escalation? Nobody likes being disrespected, regardless of whether or not they deserve / have earned that respect. By operating on a baseline of “give people the benefit of the doubt and treat them with respect by default” you open a world of constructive / logical discussion that would be closed if you were emotional.
To me, mocking someone is a person’s way of saying “I don’t have a well thought out argument against X, so I’ll just give it a nickname and talk shit about it”.
If you have to think of one person who is famous for mocking anyone / anything they don’t like, who would it be? For me, the first person that comes to mind is Trump. Is that someone who is worth modelling your behaviour after?
ability to reasonable and critical common sense thinking, when it’s against the hive mind of their surroundings – > greenest of all green flags 😉
What do you mean with
walking around other earthlings on footpaths etc instead of through
Is an earthling a human, an animal, a plant or subsets of those three? And what is walking through an earthling?
I’m geniuenly curious, I have no idea what you mean.
Earthlings are all of us, all sentient beings. We are from earth, we are the earthlings.
Like not just plowing through birds foraging, or lizards sunbaking, or ants doing a nuptial flight or whatever.
Considering others’ right to use space equal to their own.
That makes much more sense, my first intuition was passing people on the sidewalk which… doesn’t seem like a red flag.
Yeah, that sounds like a fun dude (I’m assuming dude given the kind of work he does). I’ve never met him, though.
my wife is the light of my life .
You said vegan. That explains the downvotes… And you said it as the first point even. Next time leave it for last!
I’m not going to hide my values. They’re not shameful
ikr, ITT, people getting mad they don’t fit into / agree with a strangers green flag list. The world is a wild place and I hope it’s not as hostile or absurd as I believe it is.
The V word makes people go nuts because they know they ought to be.
Notice how nobody is flipping out about my preference for people unfraid of getting their hands dirty, or imagine if I had written Buddhist. Would anyone have replied that it’s a red flag for them or written weird fantasies about anti Buddhist violence?
It upsets people because we all know killing animals is wrong. It’s easy and it’s tasty though. We tell ourselves it’s ok because everyone else is, but then a vegan comes along and the illusion shatters.
At the time of writing, the comment only has 32% downvotes.
Lemmy is a lot more vegan friendly than most places on the internet.
A lot of the hatred of vegens comes from fossil fascists, and they get banned here.
Vegan is a red flag for me.
Same. I prefer partners without willpower
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Good to know you’re both cruel and insecure. Thanks for sharing with the group
It’s not that, it’s just the baggage that comes with it. It’s like a partner telling you they have two small kids you have to deal with. At first it’s fine, but then the pressure grows on you until one night you find yourself about to sacrifice the neighbours cat for a piece of that sweet sweet flesh, blood raining down as you tear the feline on half, its final yowls turning raw and gutteral whilst the life winks slowly out of its eyes to be reborn elsewhere in another life no doubt.
You know, small stuff like that.
this comment is school shooter coded
nah im too old for that. It’d be more work-related if anything, and even then I like my colleagues so who would I kill, Bart, who would I kill?
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Mmm death murder blood.
You’re /so/ cool
Exactly, it’s the cool factor that is the main driving force. Every time I go to the kebab shop, I pop on my sunglasses, sidle up casually to the counter and raise two fingers to the meatkeep, signalling that I want two baby deer on a pizza - stat! - and then I slide him two dollars across the counter, to sweeten the deal, and with a wink he throws in a hamster for that extra zest.
I chug down my ayran like a boss so fast that it makes the girls gasp, and then I grab my pizza and action roll out of the shop, tossing finger guns at everyone in sight. I aaaaaay across the road, fonzie-style, and tip the local crackhead generously with the end of mood ring to show him that I care and that I’m down.
That’s just how I roll.
Can I be cool too?
putting down the wheel of time and reading the malazan book of the fallen would be a pretty cool thing to do ;)
This comment is neither soft spoken nor patient.
I’m not a saint. If people are going to try and hurt me I’m going to ridicule them.
Go audit what that person has said.
Besides maybe I’m a piece of shit, there’s no guarrantee I fulfill my own green flags.
I actually frequently identify myself as a human garbage fire, which is funny really. Like I am a human garbage fire and even I am vegan, so what does that make non vegans?
I’m eating a nice juicy burger right now. Yum!
Congrats, you’re as insufferable as the people you’re trying to offend!
I’m not vegan so this doesn’t offend me.
you might not be offended, but you’re definitely insufferable
I’m not vegan either, but you’re still annoying lol
Congrats I suppose
I’m not a vampire, it’s not like waving the idea of death at me is going to send me slinking back to my verdant fields.
Humans are omnivores, nothing to feel bad about.
Nobody should feel shame for what their body can do. That doesn’t mean we should do it.
We have all sorts of abilities, we can drop kick babies for example. Doesn’t mean you should do that.
You do you, I’ll do me.
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They’re self aware. Understand the difference between subjectivity and objectivity. When they encounter someone different, they don’t judge, see it as a learning opportunity. Put thought into their words. If you ask them a question, you can see them carefully thinking about it.
Everyone judges, it’s how you act upon that judgement that is the mark of your character. Anyone that says “I don’t judge” is either full of shit or means that they are self aware of their biases, conscious and subconscious and don’t act upon their judgements.
Judging people is a natural part of being human and impossible to not do.
And to add to that, all the characteristics listed their green flags - characteristics used to judge people.
I would just append that judging people is a good thing, often blanket misinterpreted as a bad thing. You should make an initial judgement upon meeting someone (it doesn’t really matter, your subconscious will anyway). The important part is being willing to update that judgement based on learning more.
I’ve spoken about this with my girlfriend. She mentioned that we shouldn’t judge a book by its cover and I get what she was trying to say but everyone judges and to a certain extent everyone should judge. It’s how you act upon that initial judgment and your willingness to append it that shows your character.
I feel like all of those are what people would see as signs of intelligence but I’m pretty dumb and I do all of those as well.
There are many kinds of intelligence. Social, emotional, etc. I’m betting you’re really good at some things I’m horrible at.
Only kicks upwards, not downwards. Has a backbone and principles. Doesn’t value money over meaning. Likes to teach people instead of putting oneself over them.
I agree, bot.
Please dont racist toward bot. His race is bot. He is born as bot. He can’t choice to be born as human
Bleep bloop :'(
Expresses disagreement with people talking shit about others when they don’t have to
People who treat others who cannot benefit them well. For example, wait staff.
Actually intelligent, reads books, sense of humor, actually listens.
I love my ereader but I miss the days when you could actually see what someone was reading. It was like a book recommending a person
Someone reading a book doesn’t mean the book is good.
I have a book written by a mentally ill person I met, just because I wanted to have more insight into his mental state.
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Comments about reading
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Completely misreads my sentence
😂
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“good” book is highly subjective. It depends not only on your tastes but also on your general mood while reading it. Same for film and art. I saw the Mona Lisa in person and was completely unimpressed.
How do you measure actually intelligent?
You don’t measure it. You compare it to your own intelligence and see if it matches.
It’s like art, you know it when you see it.
When they say it. If somebody says “I’m very smart” or “I’m very intelligent”, you know the answer.
but what is the question?
Exactly!
Excellent question. For me, it has a lot to do with their sense of humor, general outlook, and their problem solving. ymmv
Have you heard about IQ Test.
The flawed metric racists use to claim they are somehow superior?
There is a reason why it isn’t standard practice and only covers certain topics. It can measure some general knowledge, but is in no way indictment to the actual intelligence of a person.
Yes I know the origins of IQ Tests and how it was used for justifying eugenics in USA and how Hitler got inspired by it. But I ment it as a joke to the original comment asking how to measure intelligence. And anyway who believes in a number on piece of paper we all only believe in how much upvotes we can get on Lemmy.
No that’s dumb
somebody talking about their IQ would be a major red flag for me lol
Is it OK if they mention that their IQ is less than 0 Kelvin.
some healthy self-deprecation is definitely nice, but the eldritch implications of somebody representing their intelligence as convertible to a temperature value transgressing thermodynamic law intrigue me more.
Have YOU been on the mensa forums?
I’m theoretically Mensa qualified but when I met some I turned away. My sense of what’s fun and creative did not align. At all.
